I said on Sunday in the third message on STAYING TILL THE END that we are drawn into relationships primary because of emotions. We are looking for love. We are seeking for affirmation and encouragement and attention. We want to feel good. And when what we seek in love eludes us in one relationship; we seek outthe same in another relationship where we think we can feel good again.
Angela Thomas in her excellent book, Am I Beautiful: Questions Every Woman Asks made these comments everyone needs to read (guys included!) :
Here is one thing I can say with great confidence: the man that you love is just a man. He may be your soul mate. He is possibly your best friend. He may be hunky and funny and surprising and strong, but he will never - not in a million years, not if he goes to relationship therapy twice a week and keeps every promise written - be enough to fill your soul...he will never make you whole. He wasn't made to be enough. He could not be even if he tried. He is just a man, and he can give only as a man and interact as a man and love as a man. He wasn't designed to fill the depth of a woman's longings, anticipate every need, and jump through every hoop. He can't. Those deep places inside you were made for God.
The man is simply a vessel. God uses him to give you a part of the filling of His holy love. But he is not the only vessel, not is he able to fill you from his own strength, nor is he the only thing you will ever need. Are you hearing this? There will never be a man on the face of the earth who can make you whole. Being filled in the depths of your soul is only about the love of God...knowing him...hearing His voice...believing that He's wild about you...dancing in His arms.
The man's responsibility is to be the vessel and to be a good one. He is called to listen to God. To obey as the Holy Spirit leads. To love you in the ways God prompts his heart. If he loves you as a man who walks with God and if you realize that the vessel is just a man, there can be an amazing exchange of healthy love. Through the man you can taste a part of the love that God has for you.
Your responsibility with the man is to let him be just that. He is not your girlfriend. He is not perfect and never will be. He is not your Savior. He is not your filling, nor is he the answer to all your longings. You must let him be fallen and forgiven and in process. You must learn the difference between men who are healthy and those who are not. You must not mistake his opinions for the opinions of God. He may have never called you beautiful or smart or witty. No matter what the man says or doesn't say, God is still wild about you."
How have you overcome the "idolatry" of romance? Because you will never stay till the end in a relationship if the man or the woman takes the place of God in your life to touch your emotions!
