Let me start with the caveats. Many people suffer at the hands of others. The world can be unfair, at times mercilessly so. Millions of people in the world are genuine victims, right now. All of us will be at some point, whether it’s for small matters or large.
But we aren’t all victims, not all the time anyway. And not for everything. But why are we so easily offended? Why are we in such a hurry to be hurt?
Being offended is actually easier than being right. To prove you’re offended you just have to build up some moral indignation and tell other people about it. To prove you’re right you actually have to hear out the offender and look at both sides of the matter and marshal evidence. Then you have to weigh the matter with great objectivity, probably by running the issues through some others who will help you see if you yourself have been bias and if there have been some blind spots. All that involves courage and emotional strength and maturity. To prove you are right is hard work. But that is what Jesus says we must do when we are offended. “Leave your gift...first go be reconciled with your brother.” (Matt 5:24)
But the problem is, many people choose instead to be offended rather than work out the relationship through biblical reconciliation. Being offended simply nails down the opponent. Because if there is offense, there must be an offender. And offenders are always perceived as wrong. You offended me. So you are wrong. And no opportunity is given for the so called offender to explain himself or share his heart.
All we expect is apologies. Sometimes, no doubt, because a genuine sin has been committed, apologies are in order. But often we demand apologies just because we are the one offended. It’s a way to shame those with whom we disagree. It forces them to admit failure or keep looking like a weasel. The weakest offense-taker can now bully good people who are tirelessly running the race of faith through their emotional manipulation that goes with chronic offendedness. Because people everywhere are more sympathetic towards those who are offended.
As Christians, we worship the Lord who was grossly wounded on the Cross physically and emotionally. Many were offended by Jesus and in turn they wounded Him to death on the Cross. And on the Cross, Jesus took God’s offences against us, sinners, and nailed it to Himself. In so doing He broke the power of offences so that we are first reconciled to God and then to one another.
Because He is our Lord, like Him, when we are offended we should do what He exemplified for us to do – forgive and reach out in love. When we see someone offended by us, we should show them grace. When we do that, we tell our soul that we live by the power of the Cross.
But we have no reason to wallow in our hurt. And carry a spirit of offences. Absolutely no reason.
