When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter,
"Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
You can measure the value that you place on a relationship by the level of discomfort you are willing to engage to make that relationship the best it can possibly be.
The absence of tension and conflict is not the mark of a healthy relationship any more than the absence of heavy breathing and muscle fatigue is the mark of an effective exercise programme.
The most fulfilling and productive relationships in my life all have one thing in common: I have initiated or endured very difficult conversations and confrontations along the way to make the relationship what it is. And the relationship is what it is-not in spite of the hard things-but because of the hard things.
Whether it be my wife, my two children, my staff or my closest friends, the reason why today we enjoy a level of depth and stability in our relationships is because we have had the moral courage to work through the rough edges and smoothen them with grace and love. And we were willing to work at those hard places because we valued the relationships.
Jesus modeled this when he asked Peter-not once…not twice-three times: “Do you love me?”
If Peter was going to be the first preacher on opening day (Pentecost), he had to be weighed and measured first. Jesus valued Peter enough to speak acutely to his pain and disappointment. Peter leaned into the discomfort. As a result, he was able to lead the charge to change the world. Well worth the pain, don't you think?
Do you value the key relationships in your life enough to engage extreme discomfort to keep correct alignment? Well, when you dare to do that, you gain more ground for a life of no regrets.
